I received this email form a friend and I thought it was very good advice. I am posting it here just as it was written – without edits. To provide some context, the author is an emergency room doctor who deals with the trauma of our humanity daily. Frank is a good person who asks the hard questions.  This advice is advice to live by, both in your professional and business life.

April 19th, 2012

 Shut the Front Door

“When you’re the victim of the behavior, it’s black and white; when you’re the perpetrator, there are a million shades of gray.”

-Laura Schlessinger

Ever ask yourself, “How do I get out of here?”  It seems like everyone in the Emergency Department is constantly complaining about someone or something!  Arrrgh!  Somedays it’s hard to even walk in the front door.  But the reality is we actually have great jobs.  The hospital is an amazing place to work where we get to do incredible things everyday.

When we really feel the need to get out of Dodge, all we need to do is shut the front door!  We, just like our patients, almost always create our own problems.  My hero Albert Einstein taught us, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

If things are bad for us now and we want to make them good, we only need to think and act differently!

Just like there is black and white, there is wisdom and stupidity.  These opposites exist so we can see the difference.  In a place where there is no wisdom, exists stupidity.  Speech, the words we say, can be of only two types:  we can either speak wisdom, or stupidity.  If it does not help, it hurts.  It really is that black and white.

“Badmouthing Others”, “Gossip”, and “Trash Talking” can seem to bring instant relief when we are in discomfort, but this type of speech is nothing but stupidity.  This behavior of ours—and we all do it—actually creates the heaviness and toxicity we experience with each other at work.

But we always have a choice.  We can speak words of sharing, support, and positivity.  Or we can speak words of negativity and stupidity.   There is nothing neutral.  You either want to help or you actually intend hurt. It all comes down to “we” or “me.”  We is positive.  Me is negative.  We is unifying.  Me is separating.  Whatever is not “we,” must be “me.”

We need to remember that if we, in everything we do, would include the “we”, “the other guy,” then everything would work out great for everyone.  Win-Win solutions would be the norm rather than the exception.  Whenever we are thinking only of me, there is going to be trouble.  We will create chaos, we will create bad feelings, we will hold grudges and we will never be happy or satisfied.  We will be hurt, angry, sad, and disconnected.

Any interpersonal difficulty or chaos we have at work usually comes from our need to be right!  When we say something less than kind in order to prove a point or to look good, does it help or does it hurt?  Is it about “me,” or is it about “we?”

There are really only two options.  If it’s not good, it’s bad.  If it is not wise, it’s just plain stupid.  If it doesn’t help, it hurts.  If it does not unify, it separates.  So how do we speak in a balanced way?  How do we give to others and invest in ourselves at the same time?

Balance comes from setting priorities.  So make your number one priority reconnecting with your pure and altruistic desire to care, to make things better.  And when you want to say “me,” instead of “we,” simply shut the front door!

Action:  Think before you speak!  I once worked with a nurse named Wendy.  Nurse Wendy was seasoned, experienced, good with people and levelheaded.  She was a great person and such an amazing nurse.  She did not often join in the department banter or offer up unsolicited opinions.  However, when she did speak, her comments were insightful and exceptionally helpful.

One day, when I was complaining, she took me aside to offer this piece of real, sound wisdom. She told me when we are tempted to talk about someone to someone else, we should first ask ourselves three things:

1. Do I know this story to be true, or is it something I was just told?
2. Is it necessary for me to repeat the story?
3. Is telling this story positive and loving, or is it destructive?

Sometimes, the easiest way out of a negative place is to just shut the front door, unless you have something really wise to inject into (y)our situation!

Give us your best!

Care, make a difference and change (y)our world!

Frank Pinchas Gabrin, D.O.

Thanks Frank for your wise advice. 

Ron Finklestein
Business Growth Experience
330-990-0788
ron @ businessgrowthexperience.com

www.businessgrowthexperience.com

Customers Lie!

We, as sales professionals, are constantly told that customers lie. They never address the reason customers lie nor do they tell what you can do about it.

Customers lie because they do not want to hear how stupid they are if they do not understand how your product or service will help them.

Customers lie because they feel you will take advantage of them if you learn some sensitive piece of knowledge.

Customer lie because they fear you will charge a higher price if you knew how painful the situation really is.

Ok, customers lie because they need to protect themselves. They lie because we, as sales professionals, have lied to them. I cannot tell you how much sales training I have received where the instructor would say something like, “tell them what they want to hear, even if it not true, to get the appointment. You can always fix it later.” We wonder why customers feel the need to protect themselves. I refuse to be party to this kind of mind-set.

As a sales professional, we need to change that. We need to act with the best intentions and the highest effort to do what is in the best interest of our customers. We need to understand their problems and help them solve it.

As a sales professional, we have to assume they are lying to protect themselves and it is our job to act with honesty, integrity, and while having the best interest of our customer in mind at all times so they do not have to (or feel the need to) protect themselves. They understand we are on the same team.

As a sales professional, we must understand how to build rapport quickly and effectively because building rapport is the first step in building trust.

As a sales professional, we must always treat the customers the way they want to be treated so they understand why your product or service is the right and safe choice for them.

If our customers are lying to us we need to stop blaming them and implement actions that allow them to trust us.

If our customers are lying to us we must look inside and see what we are doing they makes them want to lie to us. Then we need to fix it.

To learn more check out www.akris.net

Call me if you are not getting the desired results.

Ron Finklestein
330-990-0788
ron@businessgrowthexperience.com

www.businessgrowthexperience.com

What Can You Learn from Business Failures?

It’s a well known saying that you can learn from your failures and this is supposed to apply to business as well, but is it true? Do failures really teach anything that doesn’t lead people into another failure later in life or do people who have failed magically become model businessmen and women?

Business failures are often blamed on some specific occurrence or on somebody else. Perhaps only those who can accept responsibility can move on to be better business people rather than hoping for the perfect balance transfers to get them out of their one way ticket to bankruptcy.

What failure means

One of life’s most stressful times is when a business fails. It is like a death in the family and there is a grieving period to mourn through. Failure brings up thoughts of negativity. Most business people want to just get up and move on to their next venture but the personal and financial problems may not disappear as soon as another business begins.

People close to the entrepreneur will feel the sadness in losing their baby – their business. Some of those close enough to the events may never want to go near a business again if they have to be involved in its formation and then production. For some, it can be even more serious and the loss of their business can lead to more serious personal problems, some which even lead to the need for alcohol or drug abuse treatment.

Unfortunately, even in those trying times you need to turn around and be positive. It is part of a life journey and with those experiences you may recognize the problem if it occurs again. You will be able to see the situation and react differently and much quicker to solve the issues that caused your business to fail.

There will need to be an evaluation of why you failed. These results should set you on the right path so you will be confident you won’t fail again.

The choice is yours

Whatever happened and whatever will occur in the future, you bear the responsibility to make a successful business. How you present yourself is the first choice you make which will affect how you recover from an initial failure.

You need to be able to take the positives from your failures and build on them. You learnt how to get past failure in school. You didn’t know the alphabet to begin with, but after many failures you knew it off by heart quite soon. Business is much the same, except there is always a bigger financial and personal risk.

Failing is succeeding

Failing is a tough pill to swallow and no one wants to give up, but seeing the positive side of one’s circumstances positions you for greater chances to find success in the future.

You will need to see failure as a building block for success. Only quality entrepreneurs can see the opportunity when failure is all round. The growth of your new business will be based on the positives from your previous business coupled with the lessons you have learned. Failure is only a state of mind after your business has closed. The business is gone and it is up to you to ensure the future holds a better run business.

Time management

You will need to assess your time management and decide if this had anything to do with your business failure. Being in control of your time is a major step in moving a business forward. Too many people concentrate on the wrong priorities in business and often fail to see the bigger picture. You should excel where you have the skills to succeed and employ others to control the aspects of your business that are not your best areas. When you are not a master accountant, have someone else manage your accounts and learn how to check them carefully. If you spend too long on the wrong side of your business you can’t be expected to see the problems as they happen.

Moving with technology

You can’t expect to run your business with technology that is years out of date. Computers, software and business machinery have developed so far in the last few years that you must move with the times if you are to keep abreast of the best aids to help your business. If your web presence is lacking, your competitors will sleep easy at night.

Learn from your mistakes and plan properly to maximize the education you gain through your failure. Success might be just around the corner.

To Your Success

Ron Finklestein

330-990-0788

www.aboutbusinesssuccess.com

ron@ronfinklestein.com

Did anyone tell you something like this? Or How to ask for a referral!

I met with a client on Friday and he gave me this feedback:

“You helped me grow sales (2.7 to 7 new clients each month), you provided objective feedback on my ideas to provide clarity, you challenged my thinking in new and different ways so I make better decisions and everyone needs what you do. How do I tell them that?”

The more I thought about his question the more I realized that people need to experience what I do. When the process is experienced they can then make an intelligent decision to see if I can add value.

What prompted his comment? I run a group coaching process called The Business Growth Experience and as part of the process we share both good news and problems we need some help with. My good news was that I picked up three new clients as a result of referrals. My dilemma, how can I get more referrals?

Here is what they suggested. Call each of your client (who are happy with your work) and ask them to bring one of their client who they think can use your service to a lunch (I Pay) for an introduction.

What a powerful idea.

I knew about this process and simply forgot about it. So today I am going to do just that. I am going to call my clients and referral partners and ask them to introduce me to one of their client (over a lunch).

Since you read this far, send me an email and I will provide you a 30 minute free coaching session if are the first 10 reads who responds to this email. Consider this my Christmas gift to you. Send the email to ron@businessgrowthexperience.com with the subject line “Free Coaching.” In the email please provide a short description of what you want to discuss so I can prepare. Also, your time zone is important. I will then send you a link to schedule your coaching session. Please note you must use this email address and subject line or I will not see the message. This offer expires 12/15/11 so please act quickly. This offer is available to anyone.  My strengths are working with owners of small businesses to help them grow sales, increase revenues and influence others.

May your self-talk always be positive, your life meaningful, and your thoughts happy.

Ron Finklestein
www.akris.net
330-990-0788

Akita Mani Yo.

Robert Schepens, is part Native American and he often reminds me of the Native American saying “Akita Mani Yo.” This saying means “Observe everything as you walk your path (in life).”

Observing everything as we walk our path is hard to do. It requires both internal and external awareness.

Internal is defined a our reactions, feeling and emotions and external our environment, others and our ecology (relationships.) It requires seeing things we often pay no attention to.

It requires us to understand our life and the meaning of our life as defined by the contrast between ourselves and others. This contrast is what is observed. In this contrast lie the secrets we miss, the lost loves, the beautiful flowers that we ignore, the pain we inadvertently inflicted and the joy others experience. This observing shows us the pains of others that we missed, the opportunities lost, that opportunities missed, the opportunities we gained. It shows the joys that passed us by.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) this is referred to as “Our perception is our reflection.” Stated another way, what we see and perceive is what we notice and what we reflected back to others.

If things are not what you want, shift your attention to notice the things you do want. What more customers? Shift your attention to being grateful for your existing customers. Want more love in your life, be a more loving person. Want more friends, be a better friend. Remember to Akita Mani Yo.

Ron Finklestein
Someone who is learning to be a better student.

ron@akris.net

330-990-0788

Personal Development vs. Internal Development.

What is the difference between personal development and internal development?

Personal development is intended for use by one person. Personal development is usually skills based, the learning of new skills for example.

Internal Development exists in the interior of something. Internal Development is creating change from the inside out and focuses on changing beliefs and behaviors.

In my mastermind group, the people who have been in this group for 10 years have one thing in common: the desire for internal growth. The people who do not stay with the group leave quickly if they do not share this value.

Internal development (growth) is more difficult and longer lasting, if you can be open to new things, new ways of thinking and implement what you learned.

In personal development, after a new skill is learned the purpose of participating ceases to exist.

Which is more important to you?

Ron Finklestein

ron@ronfinklestein.com
330-990-0788

www.ronfinklestein.com

To receive these posts directly please go to www.businessgrowthexperience.com and sign up for the free eBook, “Six Questions Your Prospects want Answered before the Buy.” You will then be added to the email list.

To receive great business training at an even better price please check out www.aboutbusinesssuccess.com

Ten Time Wasting, Productivity Stealing, Resulting Robbing Excuses that Make Life Hard.

As a business coach I work with people who could improve their results and productivity by making simple yet powerful changes in their approach to decision making. If you are not achieving your desired results, here are ten possible reasons why.   As you read, think about what you are doing and why you are doing it. The biggest reason productivity suffers is because of poor decision making. This wastes time and valuable resources. Time is wasted when we confuse activity with accomplishment. Activity is purposeless action. Accomplishment is purposeful action that leads to the results you want.

Getting clear on what is important and focusing on those activities will increase your productivity, save you time, and simplify your life. Take a look at these 10 time wasting, productivity robbing, and frustrating actions people take. How many of these apply to you?

1. Not staying focused. Stay focused on what is important and ignoring any other opportunity that comes along will increase productivity. Jumping from activity to activity will ruin your productivity!
2. Stop Multi-Tasking. You cannot focus and do multiple things well. Your productivity suffers. You think you got a lot done but none are done well and you would have completed more had you stayed focused. Studies show that focused activities allows you accomplish more.
3. If you are a business owner do not discount your product. You are not the Banker. On more than one occasion I wanted to help someone so I gave them some help by discounting my product. The ones that I offered this help to were the ones who valued it the least, who took the most time and accomplished the least.
4. You do not need to be an expert. People will be confused if you explain every detail. They really want to know why it works not how it works. It helps with your confidence level to know this info but you do not have to tell everyone unless they ask. Do not spend time trying to figure out every nuance of your product. Just go do what you have to do. If someone asks you a question you cannot answer, tell them you will find out and set a date and time when you will get back with them.
5. Stop waiting for your family’s approval. They want you safe and many time what you want, they see as risky. It is your life. Live it by your rules not theirs! Decide. Take action.
6. Stop going to networking events. Spend your time where your prospects are, not where it is safe. Most people you meet at networking events want to sell you their product. That is why they are there. I cut way back on my networking because the same people show up. They were becoming more like reunions.
7. Avoid the tire kicker. They want to tell the world they tried everything when in reality they will suck you dry and never take action. Do not waste your energy on tire kickers. On the flip side, work with people who are where you want to be. Be open and coachable. This will shorten your time to success.
8. Why do you do what you do? To be truly successful, spend as much time working on you as you do on your business. Results happen when you change what you do. The best way to change what you do is to change how you think. This could be learning new things, taking different actions, and being exposed to people who think differently than you do.
9. Stop believing the wrong thing. It is not skills that hold us back but our beliefs. Anyone can learn anything, assuming they have the desire and interest. I cannot tell you how many audio programs I listened to and did not implement what I learned. I would then listen to the same program 10 years later and wonder why I did not trust (believe, implement, execute, etc) what I first learned. I think of all the time I wasted.
10. Do not believe your limitations. Those limitations are things you learned as a child and you do not have to have the same beliefs now. It is not your fault if you are not happy with your life as it exists today but you are responsible and you can change it. As Michelangelo once said, “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.” Aim High  and take purposeful action

Call today for a free consultation. I can be reached at 330-990-0788

Ron Finklestein

Business Coach

ron@businessgrowthexperience.com

http://www.aboutbusinesssuccess.com

How do you spell RESULTS?

The word “RESULTS” is unique. It is unique because it means many different things to many different people; mostly psychological (more money, better relationships, more customers, weight loss, better health, etc.)

Though the word “results” means different things to different people, the way to results has not changed, if you are willing to do the work. Let me share with you a simple process I teach all my clients to help them get clear on achieving the results the want to achieve.

R – Results – Defining a specific outcome that you want to achieve. Think of this as your intelligent self-interest, your burning desire, and the end results you will achieve.

E – Enthusiasm. You must be passionate about what you want to achieve. This enthusiasm will provide the motion to get you over the bumps you will experience. Without enthusiasm, action quickly fades.

S – Singular focus. Every decision you make must focus the outcome you want to achieve. You must measure all your actions on how your actions (or lack of) are taking you closer to your specific outcome.

U – Unvarnished truth. There are no excuses. You own it. Don’t hide from it. Don’t try to sugar coat the results with excuses like it is the economy. If something is truly outside your control, it may not be your fault but it is your responsibility. You chose to how you want to respond. You can thrown in the towel or you can draw on your enthusiasm and passion to get you through the tough times.

L – Leadership. Show your personal leadership and just do it. Lead by example.

T – Test, fail quickly, try something else, and test again. I call this failing forward. Test until you find what works (repeat as often as necessary).

S – Start the process over. Do it again. Do more of it. Do it faster. Do it with greater focus.

In the next 60 days I will be announcing a 90 days to massive results program. Let me know if you want the details and I will include you in the formal announcement.
If you would like these blog post to be emailed to you, go to http://www.businessgrowthexperience.com and download the report. “Six Questions Your Prospects Want Answered Before They Buy.” Each time a new blog is written you will get an email letting you know.

To your results,

Ron Finklestein
330-990-0788
ron@businessgrowthexperience.com

Have you ever felt lost, stuck, confused and closed off?

As a small business coach, I work with many small business owners who are stuck, depressed, closed off and fearful.

When I found myself in that space a few weeks ago, I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t even sleep. Four AM was my regular wake up time and I felt blessed to sleep that long.

I knew I had to call my coaches (advisors).

You see I practice what I preach. I felt weak asking them to help.

I did not want to see them. I did not want to talk to them. I did not want to share with them how it felt to feel like a failure.

But I swallowed my pride and I meet with my advisors. I put my ego in park and went to the meeting. By the way they are what I consider to be my board of advisors.

Was it scary? Yes.

Was it hard? Yes.

Was it difficult? Yes

I could go on but you get the picture.

After a difficult few hours I received this advice from one of my advisors. “You are a coach, coach yourself. Step back, remove the ego, define the problem, and fix it!” Those were hard word to hear.
I went home and felt sorry for myself (for about an hour) and started to do as advised.

I realized my problems were the same problems I help others with daily: focus, discipline, and execution. As I started to define the problem I realized I got away from the basics everyone, without exception, needs to follow.

I knew I needed to create a process I could follow to keep me focused. I spent the next few days creating, testing, implementing, and testing again. I solved this problem by creating what I call the “Promise Setting Process.”

I am so excited by the results, focus, discipline and execution that I am going to roll this out as a product in the near future.

But talking about the product is not the reason for this blog post.

The true reason for this post is the email I received from one of my advisors after our meeting. It touched me deeply, changed my perspective and gave me hope. I want to share it with you because everyone needs someone like this in their corner: someone to ask the hard questions, someone to care about them, someone who believes in their dreams, and someone to hold them to a higher standard. Here is his email.

“Thanks for sharing this morning, old friend. How much of your current questioning of your career direction is related to the feeling of helplessness from your recent encounter? When we feel “out of control” or in the dark without a flashlight, we all attempt to question our worth or direction. Those challenges in life, are more often than not, met with an insecurity as large or larger than the monster in front of us. If we didn’t feel that way, we would not be “human”. Our reaction needs to be part attentive to the issue and part “I am better than this”. Where are you? All of us at the table have stories of coming out of a personal image crisis, and you don’t need to hear those now. How you gird your loins and deal with it all with logic and fortitude will determine who you are in the coming weeks and months. May I suggest both logic (a plan) and an ego. You are a great man, with great ideas. Use them on yourself. “The only easy day was yesterday”, now what are you going to do today? Ring the bell, or put on the 90 pound pack and run the 29 miles in the top 10? I’m betting you can be right there at the finish line.”

For those of you who don’t know, when someone quits (or washes out) in the process of becoming a Navy Seal, he must ring the bell letting everyone know of his choice. Otherwise he is expected to pick up his pack and start running to the finished line.

This email prompted me to fix my own problem and I realized I am not alone with this problem. Half the world feels the same way. If I fixed it for me, then half the world needs to hear about this so they can put themselves back into control. More on this later.

Today, find someone you can call and share your fears, frustrations, pains and choices with. Don’t judge yourself, their responses or the situation you are in. When you do that you start the process of feeling free. Everyone of us needs to feel heard. We need to know someone cares.

Then make a decision, no, a promise, to make something happen. No excuses. Track your progress, measure your results. If you are not getting the results you want, repeat the process. But find someone who can help. DO NOT RING THE BELL.

Thank you to my advisors who listened, shared, and would not let me fail; who held me to a higher standard than I could hold myself. The true meaning of friendship was reinforced and redefined for me as a result of this meeting.

Gratefully,
Ron Finklestein
330-990-0788
ron@ businessgrowthexperience.com

Ps. If you don’t want to ring the bell and want to understand how to “ANSWER the Six Questions Your Prospects Want Answered Before They Buy From You,” the check out About Business Success and watch the short video.